Coming Home

We are in DC now. It is good to be on American soil again. Upon arriving in DC we went through the normal customs things and then made a B-Line for some "American" food at Chipotle's. That's right we both had a huge burrito for breakfast.

Elise was a champ through our flight. It is a testimony to her temperment. It doesn't seem physical discomfort throws her very much. She can tolerate a lot. 15 hours on a plane with few problems from Elise. Now in DC she seems almost delerious and she is pretty funny. Running around, very playful, and interested in everything going on around her. They fed her so well that we underestimated the size of clothes she might need. Therefor with all the delerium she is running around in a very cute, but too small pokadot outfit. While it's a bit too soon for mid-drift (never is too soon) we are allowing it for the day. Her walk is more like a waddle that veers in different directions. The directions do not always appear to be under her direct control. She is such a doll that several people stop and say hi to her. She responds to this with a straight face and turns back to her mom and dad. This is a comfort to us both as it is a sign that she is connecting well to us - and of course she does because we are totally awesome.

Well last leg of the journey coming up. Heading to St. Louis. Elise is going to get to meet aunt Mandy with us there. We are looking forward to that. We talked earlier about how we would like to spend the rest of the day upon arriving home. It is a toss up between cuddling up on the couch with the Elise and the boys or hanging out with the rest of the family and or friends tonight. While it will be a challenge for family and friends to not get to hold her very much while we are allowing her time to attach to us, we think she is responding well to being around other people and are anxiosu to let everyone meet their new addition to the family.

Jeff

Embassy Day

Wednesday, January 25th at 9AM was our Embassy appointment. There wasn't much to it really. Our agency director, Abdissa, picked us up from the guest house and went with us to the US Embassy. We went through security and waited for about 30 minutes in a large room filled with people who were trying to go to the states and a few people who were adopting. When our name was called we went to a window where an American representative asked us to raise our hand and swear that the documents in our file were accurate. They also asked us if we had visited Elise prior to our court date and when we were traveling home. Then they told us our representative could pick up Elise's visa the next day and we were done. THAT WAS IT! Simple!! A huge load was lifted because we were done. Elise was good to go home with us forever!!! PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!

After the embassy appointment was over with our agency made a huge lunch for just us and then took us out to dinner at an authentic Ethiopian restaurant that night. They also gave Elise a traditional dress. Our agency was really quite wonderful to work with. They went out of there way to take care of our daughter's needs and us feel comfortable.

Awaiting Pictures

Well...if you are wondering why we keep posting but not including pictures it is because we have not figured out a way to yet. Plan to work on it tonight some more but right now we don't have the right adapter for our camera. So sorry! We will continue to post about what is going on here though so if you are interested keep reading.

She's so Sad

I want to see her smile but no matter how many silly faces and sounds we make she maintains her serious posturing. It's not so much that I want to see her smile as it is that I want to see her trust a moment enough to allow herself to have joy. It's kind of like the experiences we had before we came here waiting for someone to tell us we could come and get Elise. At the beginning I was optimistic. With every correspondence I was expecting to hear good news. After receiving bad news or no news day after day I intentionally hardened my heart to keep from feeling devastated when I didn't hear what I hoped to hear. While my attempts were pre-emptive Elise has taken this one step further. When she is in a moment that calls for joy, she doesn't trust the moment. She is so used to things feeling bad she has trained herself to not trust opportunities to feel happy.

I know this will change. I pray this will change. I've done a great deal of study in the area of attachment - enough to make me worry. I am so grateful that I do not place my ultimate hope on research, books, or university teachers. My hope is in Jesus Christ who is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine - and I have an active imagination.

I pray that the Spirit of Christ would be given to Elise to bring healing where there has been hurt, to bring hope where there has been despair, to bring joy where there has been grief, to bring peace where she has owned chaos, to bring clarity where there has been confusion.

A letter to the Boys

A message from Daddy to the boys

Mommy and Daddy will be home soon and your baby sister is coming with us. She is beautiful. She has dark brown skin, brown eyes (like daddy), and curly black hair. We are so excited to get back home to you and have missed you so much. We can barely wait to get home and see your handsome faces. I am writing this letter because when we get home there is something that is important for you two to know about your baby sister.

She is feeling scared and confused a lot. Liam, you know how it feels scary sometimes to try and make friends with new people. It is scary because you are not sure if they will like you or if they might make fun of you. Elise is not sure how we feel about her and it is important that we help her learn that we love her and will always care for her. She is feeling confused because she has always spent her time with other people. Instead of having a Mommy and Daddy to always hold her, feed her, change her cloths and protect her, she has not been sure from one day to the next who was going to do these things for her. Now she is with us all the time and learning that we will be the ones to do this for her from now on. It is a lot of change for her. Liam and Jude, Daddy expects you two to help her feel loved when she gets home so I want you to show her you love her. Here are some things you can do to show her you love her.

Be very nice and gentle with her.

Always let her play with you.

Never take a toy away from her, even if it is your toy - we can teach her to share later, but for now she needs to know that we will always share with her.

Be patient with her and Mommy and Daddy. She will need a lot of attention from Mommy and Daddy. She has not been held, hugged, kissed, and given attention like you boys have and at first we need to make sure she has a lot of that so she can understand that we (Mommy, Daddy, Liam, and Jude) will always be close by and not leave her.

Also, protect her. Just like Daddy always protects Mommy, the boys of the house always protect our girls. Just like we would never let someone hurt or say mean things about Mommy. Daddy, Liam, and Jude will always protect Elise and never let anyone hurt or say mean things about her.

The great thing is that I have the two most wonderful boys in all the world. Liam, you are growing to be such a smart, patient, kind hearted, brave, and strong boy. I know I can trust you with these things. You have helped Jude learn to be obedient and kind and have protected him.

Jude, you are a brave and bold boy. You are learning the importance of obedience and are kind and smart. I trust that as you grow you will be an attentive and loyal protector for your sister Elise.

Thinking of you always. Love,

Daddy

Day 1

I can barely remember the fact we have been waiting so long... We arrived early this morning on our direct flight from DC to Addis Ababa. We were greeted kindly at the guest house at around 9am and told that we could have a driver here to take us to get Elise by 1130! Jumping right in. Kelly and I were both pretty weary from the flight but weren't going to wait any longer to see our girl. Jumped in the car around 1115. The agency provides a driver to take you there. He was very kind and worked hard to make conversation with us. Well, as anyone who knows me is aware, I am not the easiest guy to make conversation with and he just gave up after bit when what should have been a 20 minute ride turned into a 2 hour ride. Yesterday was the holiday of Epiphany in Addis and everything was shut down for it. Epiphany is the celebration of Jesus' baptism. Well apparently on epiphany the orthodox churches take the "arc of the covenant" out of the church as part of a celebration and the day after the celebration the priestess walks it back to the church. Thing is there are about 5 different arc's, they take up the entire street with singing and dancing when they do it, and they are all over the city. So we were able to take a long "tour of the city."

Upon arrival at the Thomas center Kelly was greeted with beautiful rose bouquet and.....ELISE!!!!! She was beautiful. They had her dressed in a grey boys football shirt that she appeared to have grown out of about a month ago and some pink pants. She had colorful clips in her hair pulling her hair into about 5 different miniature poofs. She had beefed up a bit since last time we saw her and she definitely looked older. One thing that did not change were those big heart breaking brown eyes and a consistently sad look on her face. We can barely wait to love on her in a way she hasn't experienced yet - fervently and consistently.

We did not stay long at the center as they have a strict routine they follow and it is important that they stay on task as much as possible - provides needed structure and predictability to the children there.

Elise was quite scared and it was apparent she was kind of shocked by it all. We both felt pained knowing that we were taking her from what she had become comfortable with and she was feeling scared and confused. On the way back to the guest house she sat in Kelly's lap (they don't do car seats here) and started to settle in some. Upon arriving at the guest house she wanted nothing to do with me, but those of you who know me know I can't help but love on my children so I made her deal with me for a bit. At first she cried. Then she buried her face into my chest, seemingly trying to hide herself from what she was experiencing but eventually she started to warm up to me to the point of Kelly getting a little jealous (sorry Kelly, but you know its true). After a quick lunch at the guest house we went back to our room, changed her clothes and rubbed lotion all over her ashen skin. Her skin is dark and the thick lotion made it shimmer. We removed the clips from her hair and rubbed some moisturizer in it. Her hair has loose dark curls and once the clips were removed her whole head was apoof. With both of us still being pretty tired we decided to see if she would nap with us and she did. She whimpered a bit at first. It seemed the whimpering was coming from a place of some discomfort with the level of attention she was receiving. However, a short time into it she stopped and it seemed she felt safe. Her little brow started to sweat and soon we were all fast asleep.

We are not closing in on bedtime and she is asleep on Kelly's chest. We have not as of yet been able to get her to smile but is appeared she wanted to a few times but was a bit overly committed to the frowny face so she pursed her lips and held it back. We can't imagine our lives without Elise. After only a few short hours we both feel the same kind of parental love and commitment we felt after the birth of both of our boys.

Re-united and it Feels so Good

Quick Update

-Wednesday, January 18th we got the TERRIFIC news that Elise's paperwork was accepted

-Thursday, January 19th we boareded a plane for Washington DC where we had an overnight stay

-Friday, January 20th we flew for 13 hours from Washington DC to Ethiopia

-Saturday, January 21st we arrive in Ethiopia at 8 AM and pick Elise up at 1 PM

This picture was taken after our first nap together. Elise sweats just like me!!!

She seems scared but is doing great and is taking to Jeff tremendously.

***MORE DETAILS TO COME ON UPCOMING POSTS